Emotional...

I feel like I have been so emotional lately! I have cried almost every day this week. I don't get it. But this is what I found out today, and it made me really really really mad/sad.

I have a friend, and she got married in March (3 months ago). She was married in the temple, and we were all so proud. Today, I found out that she is 6 months pregnant. It isn't fair. I went through all of the pain and sorrow of not being able to go through the temple and now even though I want a baby, I can't get pregnant. And this girl shouldn't have gotten married there, and here she is, going to have a baby. Maybe if me and Elan had done it that way, I would be pregnant by now. I am just so mad! I know that He loves me, but I just don't understand why I can't get the one thing I have wanted more than anything in the world. There have been a lot of babies born lately, and I can't say that I am not jealous. There are new borns in both apartments next to us, and another one kiddie corner to us. I know that it isn't true, because Heavenly Father wouldn't intentionally be cruel. But I feel like He's rubbing it in my face. Like because of what I did, I have lost the blessing of children. I can't take it. But that can't be the reason because everyone sins and can still have babies. I'm so broken. I just don't know what to do.

Yesterday, at church, I realized that I have no friends. I sat alone in relief society. I wanted to leave and just cry. But I got through it, and someone finally sat next to me. But the good news is... only one week of relief society left for me! I got a calling... I'll be in the nursery after that! :) I'm glad someone finally got the revelation. Haha. Just kidding, but I am glad because I don't think I could take another few weeks of relief society!

Anyway, I really have been emotional, I hope that everything inside of me is okay. I don't know many people who cry when they spill flour on the counter...

Oh and for the few of you who I told about my unfortunate incident, I'm okay.

Love you all, be good and remember who you are!

Gratitude

The day that I was leaving for the Family Reunion in Wyoming, a man knocked on my door. He was selling magazines for school. Right away, I noticed something was off because he handed me a card describing himself and said he was 5'7" with blonde hair and blue eyes. In reality he was probably 6'5" with brown hair and brown eyes. He tried selling me magazines, and I talked to him for a little bit, and he inched his way into my home. For whatever reason, I was never comfortable with him and made him stay in the doorway, I realized that it was a huge scam because he was charging a ridiculous amount of money for a year subscription of a magazine. I think it was $65 per magazine. I don't know much about magazines, but I am pretty sure that I could spend less by going to the store every month and buying one there. After all of these things just didn't add up, I made him leave because first of all, I had no money, and second, I figured it was a scam. I realized afterwards that he had commented on a ton of our stuff like the guitars and the casio. I was super worried that he was going to rob us because I didn't fall for his scam and he staked out the place. Luckily, Elan was home that weekend, and nothing happened.

Today, I got an e-mail from our apartment warning about a man who was impersonating a magazine salesman who was an alleged rapist.

Can you imagine? I don't know if this magazine man and the rapist are the same person, but I am glad that I never found out. I can't even believe that it was even close. I can't even begin to express my appreciation for having the spirit to help me recognize predators, even if he wasn't the rapist, he was definitely a predator.

I have been in multiple situations where something bad could have happened, and for whatever reason, I have been protected again and again. I am just grateful for that.

In other news, Elan got a raise for all of his incredible hard work and dedication to his job! I am so proud of him! As for me, no job yet, but I have a good feeling about the next couple of weeks!

I am just incredibly grateful for the life that I have been given and the love that my Heavenly Father shows me every time I turn around! Even when I definitely don't deserve it!

I am super excited about our trip next week! I just can't wait to be with my best friends and family again! WE LOVE YOU!!

OH NO!

OH NO!

I sold my iPhone. I haven’t been able to find a job through all of my searching, and so I had to make a sacrifice. I am selling other things, too, but they all are things that I never ever used. But my phone… I used that every day! I have the same number, so don’t worry about that. My phone is a $10 phone from Wal*Mart! WHAT? I feel like Elan has been making a ton of sacrifices for me, working super hard and long hours, and I had to make some kind of sacrifice as well. The good news is, we now have enough money for our trip to Washington. The bad news is… I have a $10 phone. Everything will be okay, but it hurts to lose nice things. I guess that Sunday’s lesson was inspired. We learned about how riches can turn a person prideful and crazy and that we need to rely on the Lord and not on our nice things. Thank goodness that temptation is now gone…

The Trembath family reunion is this weekend, and I am thoroughly excited! I can’t wait to see everyone and go to the mountains and have a blast! The only problem is Elan will probably not be able to come, and that makes me sad. I guess it makes up for last years man fishing trip that I didn’t go to. But he’s having that again in a few weeks! So maybe if I have so much fun that I can’t stand it, then it will make up for that. I don’t know. Actually, being with Patty, Jill, and Tommie will make up for that this year! I am so excited!

Our trip to Washington is going to be a week long endeavor, and I can’t wait! I have been having dreams about it! I honestly am so excited! J I miss my family over there more than anything! Elan sometimes says that I love his family more than he does. I don’t know if that’s true! But I sure love you, English family!

I have to say that I am truly blessed! Maybe I don’t have an iPhone, but I have amazing family that loves me and I love them! Thanks for loving us through all of our flaws and everything!

Elan has been working really hard, trying to make enough money for us to get by. I hope to find a job soon. I have had 2 interviews, but I guess I am not what they were looking for. Maybe I can find something else. There is a dentist office hiring, and they said they would train the right person, but they also said “no students please.” Too bad for them, I am the right person, and I am a student. It has been a lot harder than usual to find a job, even the opinionology place turned me down. They don’t usually turn anyone down… I don’t know. But overall, life is dandy, and I am glad that I get to spend it with my hunny!

Have a good day everyone!

Happy Mother's Day!

Ode to Mothers:

When I was small and had no friends

You told me the world had no ends

That I could be anything I could dream

And then you would give me ice cream

When I grew up a little bit

I liked to scream and I liked to hit

But you held me close and never let go

Told me you loved me forever more

When my mind was filled with boys

And I grew out of most of my toys

You helped me remember my true worth,

The destiny I've had since birth

When I grew up and left your home

And sometimes just felt so alone

You always helped and knew what to say

And reminded me that I could pray

As I grow older and live my life

Through happiness and through strife

I don't know much, but there's something I do:

I want to be a mother like you

I love you!

I thought that might be a nice tribute to our moms! We love you!

It's a little ironic...

The last post was about how I got a job, and then when I finally write a new one, I no longer have said job. It's a long story about how the owner of the daycare just didn't like me. She kept cutting my hours without notice and I would gt in trouble for silly things. The first week, she threatened to fire me because I wasn't mean enough. I was still trying to learn the rules, so how was I supposed to be a good teacher when I was brand new? Another thing about her was the way she went about punishing me. Everytime she talked to me, I wanted to cry. I am not even joking. I was working so hard, but a nice word never came out of her mouth. I truly loved the children, and I can't wait to get another job with more supportive management. It really has helped me decide what I want to do and what I need to do to get there. I love children, and so that's a no brainer. I am going to work with children. I really don't like people telling me what to do. So I am going to be my own boss. I am going to open my own child psychology office. I can't wait to go back to school and get headed in the right direction again. In the meantime, I am looking for a job, again.

Elan is doing great! If you didn't hear, his grades were SPECTACULAR! He is such a hard worker and I am so proud of him! He is working a ridiculous amount of hours and has to wake up at 7 most days. I like the turn of events that makes him go to bed earlier! :) We are really grateful for the hour increase because we are going to need the extra money these next few weeks. Hopefully I find another job soon.

Pat and Patty came to visit on their way to Jill's graduation! We had so much fun! I know that I for one have been homesick for them, and it was so nice to see them! We are looking forward to our next meeting! I was also able to see my family for a couple of days in Provo because they were there for Whitnee's graduation! It was really nice! You wouldn't believe how big my sisters have gotten! It was a really great weekend!

Life in general has been pretty good, and I am grateful for the experiences that I have had to get me to this place. I was told once not to neglet my education. I know now how true that is, and how much I have been neglecting. I am excited to go back and hopefully get done pretty quick. I wish everyone the best and hope you have a fantabulous day!

NEW JOB!

A lot has happened since our last post, I am sorry for not keeping everyone updated. First of all, I got a job! I am working at a daycare as an after school teacher. I get to help with the preschoolers during the day and then at around 3:00 switch to my own class with children ages 5-11. I work from 10-6 Monday thru Friday and I have never been so happy about a job! I get paid to play with kids all day, and I end up doing about an hour and a half of legitimate work (Sweeping, Mopping, Cleaning up after the kids) and I am getting paid for eight hours! I have never woken up just super excited about work before! I am completely exhausted at the end of the day but I am so happy! The other day, I was helping out the three year old class because one of their teachers hadn't come in, and I sang songs and read with them, and it was the BEST morning ever! These children are so delightful! I haven't seen any real problems besides the occasional tease or some of the younger kids have a hard time sitting still for a long time, but that's to be expected! I love it! I am just so happy! Remember how it is very snowy around here? Well the funny thing about snow is that it melts. and then there are huge puddles in our playground! So that has been fun to deal with, it's almost like they have never seen water before. But I have enjoyed every minute!

A funny thing about getting a job is that more often than not, you get other offers. The day that I started my new job, I got a call from Best Buy, they wanted to hire me. I had to turn them down and then the next day I got a call from another place that I had applied, and they wanted to hire me. I think that it is funny because next to the daycare, I wouldn't even think of working at either of those places! I thought it was funny...

Elan is doing really well in his classes! I think it is because he doesn't have a new girlfriend to distract him or a giant social life. But that is okay, I would rather him be concerned about his studies than making new friends. But I must say, a couple of weeks ago, a bunch of our old friends from out of town came to visit, and it was the most amazing thing! I know that they will be our friends forever! We really miss you, Elyssa, Joe, and Derek! Elan thinks that when we grow up and get settled, we should all live in the same neighborhood so that we can have playdates all the time! Haha!

But really, Elan is doing excellent in his classes!

I want to give a shout out to my favorite mom, thank you for the money, it really helped! We appreciate every penny! We love you very much!

Congratulations to Carolina and Tyler for your wedding! It was beautiful and we love you!

And lastly, thank you for your prayers in our behalf! I really couldn't be happier. I have my dream job, my dreamy husband, and the most fantastic family I could have asked for! We love you!

-Tasha

SNOW!

There is snow everywhere! I mean obviously, it's Rexburg, Idaho. What was I expecting? I don't know... but this is ridiculous! Our apartment complex spent 12 hours in the last 2 days plowing our parking lot. They even made us park in certain places to get all of it done. As soon as they were done. And I mean not a minute later, it started snowing. It snowed 4 inches in the last 4 hours! Elan drove to work today and I walked to eat dinner with him. The snow never stopped! The car was covered in 2 maybe 3 inches of snow! He was only there for 3 hours! Maybe I am just repeating myself over and over but good grief! I must say I was truly grateful for the Christmas present that Seth got Elan. We have used that baby every day! (He got us a snow scraper) Thanks Seth! We already had a ton of snow and now this! I thought it was pretty funny that it snowed as soon as the parking lot was cleared, though.

Well anyway, life is pretty good. Elan dropped one of his classes to get a better grip on things, and is doing much better! He is happy at work and as far as we know, the financial aid has gone through and will pay for tuition. So that makes us happy. I still haven't found a job. The 2 prospects that I was counting on never called me back after the phone interviews and I think it is because I sound like a 12 year old. I want to work with children so bad! But I applied to many different places, and will continue to apply until I find a job. This is just ridiculous.

Well, I took pictures of our house for everyone to enjoy!

This is the first view of our beautiful home. The pictures Elan got me really look great! (The middle one I got from Patty on my birthday) I LOVE THEM! We didn't have room for the table, so we put it next to the fridge and took two of the stools for the bar area, so it works out alright. We should have gotten the 2 bedroom, I think... But it's okay, everything fits and looks pretty good!

This is a side view of our living room. We are using our bedroom end tables as the living room end tables, so that is why they don't really match anything else in the room, but I do like the lamps and the couch combination. It looks pretty good to me! The only problem with having the couch there is the cold window.

Here's our TV and bookshelf and guitar corner, and shoeville. I think it is awesome! We really do loving having a TV! Thanks SANTA Pat and Patty! So that is our living room... Moving on into our teeny tiny kitchen...

Yeah, that's the whole kitchen. It works really well for one person... But really, I love it! I think it is perfect for our needs. The only problem is that both me and Elan don't fit very well... But that's okay. It is really easy to keep clean! :)

This is the view into our hallway, which leads to the bathroom and our bedroom, you can see the beautiful picture on the wall. That is from Elan as well. I LOVE IT! It is just perfect! You can also see where we put the other 2 stools, that is the small bar area.

Here is a view of our bathroom. This is the best picture I could get standing in the bathtub as far away as possible. It is pretty small, but easy to keep clean! That's my favorite part about small things! We like the mirror because it is an extra storage area!

Here is our bathtub. It is also small, it is about the length of my legs and 2 of my feet wide. The water pressure is ridiculously awesome! But it's pretty hard to take a bath. That's okay though!

And last but not least, our bedroom... There is a lot of space in this room! We just have a giant bed! It works well for us. There is about a foot and a half on either side of the bed so that is good. And we love every part of our cute little apartment!

There have been a lot of small but substantial blessings in our life, and I would just feel bad not mentioning them and sharing the joy of gratitude.

First of all, I want to thank the people who plow the roads every day. Without you, there would be a lot of people who couldn't get to work or to school and we are grateful!

I am grateful for Subway for giving Elan his job back! We are so grateful for that! I don't think we could handle two unemployed people right now! Also, For the people who tipped Elan the last month or so! We collected 65 dollars in tips and had it in case of emergency, and thank you! Because we were able to buy groceries this week!

I want to thank my family.

My sweet mother-in-law Patty, who is just so wonderful! We couldn't be where we are without you!

My dad who is always there for me no matter what!

And everyone else who has lent a helping hand these past weeks and months! We love you so much!

There have been a lot of little blessings everywhere I turn, and I know that someone somewhere is watching out for us, and helping us in this time where we might be struggling here or there. Thank you.

We love you all. Remember to take time to count your blessings! It's worth it!

Love, Tasha