Not pregnant. That's the news, sorry it has been about a month since my last post, but not pregnant. And I had to tell the doctor that I couldn't afford the treatments. I am really upset about it. I keep having dreams about my future baby. She looks a lot like my sister Scotlyn. At least in my dreams... I am having a really hard time because I know that this trial is just another way to come closer to my Heavenly Father, but all I want to do is stop trying. Because it isn't working. It will happen when it will happen I guess. I just think that the most ironic thing is that there are a lot of people out there who thought I was pregnant when me and Elan got married because it was so quick and not in the temple. Tricks on me I guess.
I am just going to be honest right now, I am having the worst time! I have next to no friends, and my family never calls. Elan was home for about 30 minutes today after classes and had to go to work, and won't be home til midnight. I haven't sold a single thing and I have been working like crazy to get things done! I miss my friends and I miss my family. The only thing that I am living for right now is my calling at church as a primary secretary. That is a one day a week calling. And the fact that I get to see my family soon! (By my family, I mean the English family) All I can say, is I can't wait to be in school again! It's coming up quick! But for now, I am just dead weight with no purpose.
I honestly hope that no one reads into this rant. I am just venting to the world, because I don't have any one else to vent to.
We are planning to spend thanksgiving with my family and christmas with Elan's. We love you all and hope that every one is doing so well!
